Hay, Inday

Setyembre 17, 2007

Si Inday, bida sa mga text messages ngayon. Sa wakas, nakilala at nalaman natin ang tunay na katauhan, nalaman ang mga opinyon at mga saloobin niya. Ito nga’t marami-rami na ang naipon ko. Tunay ngang reyna na si Inday ng sangka-cellphone-nan! 😀



Nanay: Day, ba’t ba ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo?

Inday: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.

Nanay: Day, anong nakain mo? I’m perturbed by your words.

Inday: Nay, ala namang gantihan…


  • “Listening to the nonsense talk about someone’s life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn’t contribute to the good of society. I hate character assassins!” ~reklamo ni Inday nang natsismis sya ng kapitbahay


  • “Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they stay. Leaving can be a tough act, & it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so…” ~comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA.


  • “There are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark.” ~pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday.


  • “It’s always painful to know that someone is irrevocably gone & all that’s left are memories of beautiful days gone by. Sometimes it boggles my mind why people fall in love, then say goodbye; they can’t belong forever when at first they can never seem to part…” ~si Inday, nagre-reminsice kay Dudong.


  • “The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically & those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.” ~nag-eexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.


  • “I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifest, extending to that niche where I was given life & growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from…” ~Inday, hindi makatulog dahil naho-homesick.


  • “Stop that raucus. You menacing lads should be in slumber right now. One more hubbub from you and I’ll send you off your domicile.” ~si Inday, pinagagalitan ang mga batang inaalagan niya. Matulog na raw sila.


  • “Don’t limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences.” ~Inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw isama sa Enchanted Kingdom.


  • “Bloody hell! What the fuck did just land on my cutie top? I mean I’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I have to remove this eewy thing in a whip wham of time!” ~reaksiyon ni Inday nung matalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagpiprito ng tilapia.


  • “Shit, Inday! Can you shut up? You’ve grown to become an all-knowing bitch!!!” ~sabi ng guard sa kapitbahay na ex ni Inday.


  • Graduate of La Salle Zobele (1992-1997), La Salle Greenhills (1997-2001),Business Management graduate-full scholar at Ateneo deManila University, Affiliate Chef training-Center for Culinary Arts, Currently enrolled Bachelor of Science in Nursing-UST,TOYM awardee-2006, Nobel prize winner-2006, Pulitzer Award for Literary Arts-2007 -Biodata ni Inday


  • We would like to invite you as we take our vows & affirm our special promise to cherish each other with mutual love, respect & fidelity before God & man as husband & wife on Saturday, 6 p.m zt Sanctusrio de San Antonio, McKinley Road, Forbes Park Makati. Reception will follow at the Manila Peninsula Grand Ballroom. R.S.V.P. Attire: Formal ~“DODONG & EDERLYN NUPTIALS”

INDAY: Damn you, Dodong!!! How could you!!! Arghhh…!!!


  • 500-globe plan subscription, 600-olay total effects, 1800-glutathione tablets, 1500-crocs flip flops, 2000-for mama ~bina-budget ni Inday ang sweldo nya


  • “Menikaninikow ni Monicow en mekina neng minika ni Mownica… Peskow, peksew… Buteykee, betooka… Damn! I can’t deliver Filipino tongue twisters!” -Indya, hirap mag-tongue twister
  • “Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn’t cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you men. Do it everyday. This is one of the most obvious qualities of the most beloved people. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words.” ~`yan ang sinabi ni Inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya.


  • “Morons! I was never raised by my mom to be a coquette! I’m nurtured with such dignity, respect & morality! Even poverty can’t make me do such scandalous act. Sexy is from within. I don’t rely on aesthetic products & on skimpy & scantily clad outfits. So pathetic! -banat ni Inday nang alukin sya mag-pose sa FHM.


  • I was really glad that justice prevailed. Goodness outwits evilness. At last, the judges saw the real art of cheerdancing! Congratulations to the UP Pep Squad! -message ni Inday sa UP after manood ng UAAP Cheerdance dahil dayoff niya.

Conversations ni Inday – kay Amo at sa iba pang tao:

  • Amo: Hoy, Inday! Ba’t sunog ang sinaing?

Inday: Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the oriza sativa, which is the scientific name of rice, to change its state of color, smell as well as taste.

  • Amo: In other words you didn’t apply your knowledge about heat conductors & left the rice to burn! Abi nimo nosebleed ko noh? Lain na ko kan bah. Ga-study na ko. Bring it on. Beyotch!

Shocked si Inday…

  • Overnight na inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary upang may pantapat siya kay Inday.

Amo: So Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?

Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon nque inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediento dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puede porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: (hinimatay)


  • Consul: Why do you wanna go to the USA?

Amo: To travel to visit friends & fly the airplane.

Consul: Denied!

Consul: And you?

Inday: For life is a never-ending pursuit of material & social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk & honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.


Amo: Potah ka


  • Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na `to! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapa’y kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban.

  • Inday: I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride & dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for wealth. And I hope that one day you’ll realize that you should not use humans as means of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, ‘treat as an end in himself.’

Holdaper: Shut up, `coz if you don’t, the bullet in this gun will rest upon your empty head!”


  • In a market one morning, a guy fainted…

Vendee: Help!

Inday: Move!I’m Maria Batungbacal, a trained first aider. May I help?

Vendee: Yes, you may.

Inday: Help! You lady in black, please activate medical assistance or call an ambulance & report back to me as I assess bthe victim.

Malupit talaga si Inday. Nag-training sa Red Cross!


  • Jeepney Driver: Hoy! Ba’t 6 lang binayad mo? 7 na pamasahe ngayon!

Inday: I am currently enrolled in a 2-year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student, and by this fact I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated in the fare matrix.

Driver: Ahh…

Naku! Heto at may mga nakikieksena sa buhay ni Inday:

  • “She thinks that she’s the only homosapien that can utter such euphonic statements? She might want to think again!” –sabi ni Rosing, katulong sa kabilang bahay na galit kay Inday.


  • “Maikukubli ba ng mga salita at salaysay na hango sa aklat o mula sa ibang tao ang pagiging isang hamak na kusinera, labandera, plantsadora, yaya at muchacha? O kakulangan lang sa pansin ang pagmamagaling dahil hindi maayos na naisasagawa ang nakaatang na tungkulin?” ~si Corazon, matalik na kaibigan ni Inday.


Hay, Inday. Napaka-exciting naman ng buhay mo! Ang hirap mo nang abutin!